"Will you or will you not wake up, I'm calling the cops!"

All of us 'love' to sleep and 'hate' to wake up. This love-hate relationship hold true till date, and will be forever, for most of us. Be it from school days, to college, to work, when someone tries to wake you up, you see them as your arch rival at that moment. The golden and evergreen trick of "2 minutes please" and "5 more minutes only!" still works. I will not highlight the "waking up in the morning" only as annoying, as I believe it feels so heavyhearted and sorrowful to wake up at any point of the time in a day, be it mornings (which are the worst!) / weekend naps, / dozing off while on travel to school or work using public transport (a 15-20 minute power nap) or even @ work! OK, may be an exception can be waking up to boring lectures as you feel "Ah.. the class is finally over"!

Now, waking me up,irrespective of the time of the day, has been one of the biggest challenges faced by all the people associated with my life till date. Be it parents, family, friends etc etc. I doubt, if I can do or bear even 1/10th of how much each one have undergone, thanks to my eternal affinity to sleep. Sometimes, I feel, most part of my life I have religiously followed only two slogans "Live to eat" and "Live to sleep". Let me share some of my interesting 'woes'!

"Family Pressure a.k.a Tactics"

I guess, one of the reasons, why ppl in my family have developed a certain level of blood pressure is primarily due to the horrendous thought that I can probably even sleep through a Tsunami. Often, my brother used to drag me out of the bed right through the living room and still keep the dragging on to make sure I get started. Yeah... doesn't sound so good, but this level of treatment was enforced after crossing all levels of hope, patience and sanity by the individuals surrounded. Other routine strategies like:

• pouring mugs of ice-cold water on the face (and even then I still ask "5 more minutes amma.. this time final!"), 
•  shouting my name in varying degrees of decibels at least 'n' times (where n is any natural number greater than or equal to 23! ), 
• switching off the fan when you don't even have Mortein coil for rescue from the mosquitos.. (wonder how come mosquitos stay so active all through the night and in the mornings too..ruining your sleep in the night, and waking you up in the most distressful  manner. They SUCK.. literally, and even otherwise! )
• depriving you of the "last few minutes" of sleep, by removing the blankets/comforters, opening the curtains etc.

The FoF brainchild (Fooling on Fone)

With respect to phone, I have tried my best to fool people whom I assign the job "Wake me at ---- AM/PM", which has always been an unrealistic time. For instance, sleeping at 5 AM, and asking to wake me up at 8 AM, will never happen. But, I still continue to believe that one day God will answer my prayers and make me live this dream of mine.. yeah * in my dreams * !!! When you are staying with parents, family etc, all you can try and plead is "5 mins.. 10 mins.. etc". Yeah, stuff like "my  head is aching badly", "I think I'am having fever today" do work at times, with parents to bunk school/college. But, when you tell them to wake you up through a phone call, you can come up with a lot more innovative ways to fool someone. Here are how I have tried a few:

1. X: It is 7 AM. Get up, get up.

   Me: (Pretending to be fully awake) Yeah, I am awake. Thanks X.

The above is if you think sleep is of prime importance at that moment, nothing else matters to you in this galaxy other than that, and you do not want the disturbance of anyone in between the both of you.. I know.. these lines sounds like typical romantic lines in any movie, of course, replacing sleep with whomever you would like to.. but if it so essential, then you would have tried this, no matter what. And, it consistently follows a 100 % success rate! If it has ever failed with you, then may be you can try the below as one cannot be lucky all the time. What if "X" wants to re-check on and on, if you have actually woken up.So, 'X' calling the 7th or 8th time, and I finally pick up the phone. So, basically 'X' already is aware that I have been bluffing that I am fully awake in the 1st call itself!

X: Good morning. Wake up. 

Me: Yes, I am awake. 

X: I don't think so. This is the 9th time I am calling you, and there has been no response till now. Have you really got up?

Me: Mmm... (in a sleepy tone) Yes

X: No, if you have woken up I want you to go to the sink right away, and have a face-wash. Then, I will be convinced that you are fully awake.

Now, the following response might seem very wierd and probably something you would have never heard of. But, it has really WORKED! :D

Me: OK, here I go to the sink.. (after a min, the following is what I say) 'Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh............ so do you hear the sound of water?'

The point is, I was too lazy to get up and go to the washbasin, and all that the person at the other end wanted to hear is a gush of water from a pipe. So, I actually imitated the sound of water flowing from a pipe, as in, "ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh"  to prove that "I am all fresh after the face wash". Looks like some hidden inherent talents come out while I'm in a sub-conscious state as well! 

Sounds way too crazy or unthinkable right? Yeah, it used to sound crazy even to me, when I 'actually' wake up, but as long as you can go back to sleep for five minutes, and wake up after an hour, it's totally worth every dime!

Cheers,

Janz!