Part 2: Things about Life and Relationships

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Broken hearts are most likely to rebound. After one year he met this incredibly hot young single mom who looked like a million bucks. She was tall with long, light-brown hair. Her slim frame despite being a mother of twins and vivacious green eyes made her look like a model. She was the prettiest of all the girlfriends he had including me. What he had and felt for her was pure lust. Dating a single mom was not a pretty scene if only he knew she was a mom. After a certain length of time she considered introducing her children to him. The fact that she concealed being a single parent could make or break their relationship. She had her own reasons and he tried not to be judgmental. He felt she is still a woman, though, and she has needs, wants and desires. He wanted to give it a shot to one of the toughest times of his adult adolescence. Somewhere he knew she would probably not be his One True Love. Everything about her was great except that he didn’t want a ready made family. She was into him too, a man younger than her by 8 years. He moved into her 3-bedroom apartment soon. It is important to pace yourself in relationships of this kind. But everything in life doesn’t go according to plan. Their romance was blossoming. His love curve was phenomenal from a childhood sweetheart to a single parent. Gradually he realized he wasn’t adult enough to handle this kind of commitment. He was unable to see himself as a father to someone else’s kids. This relationship was complicated right from the start. Dropping kids to school, bringing them back home, hiring a sitter was not always simple, concerns with the kid’s behavior, helping with household chores and blah blah. He needed a breather. Their relationship became a routine. He missed the newness in it. He was forced to grow up faster than ever before. It just wasn’t natural. Being a boyfriend dad was not cool at all. He finally decided to move out of the apartment and the relationship. Out of all the three relationships he’d been in, this was the easiest to move on. Sure he missed the biggest element in that relationship – the persistent physical desires single moms have. Now he was back with his family again. His mother was really happy, as she never liked his last girlfriend coz she was a mom to some other man’s children. 

Amidst all the relationship twists in his life, his education and career went haywire. He now wanted to focus on how to make things right. He got a decent job with a company, which helped him pay all his bills and expenses. He decided to prioritize things in life. First career, and then love. Experiences always take a man forward. His career was slowly getting better and steady. He was punctual, disciplined, and more responsible, saving money, learnt new things and started grooming himself more as a leader in the specialized team he was a part of. Most of them liked his company at work. That’s about his career, but what about love life? He had been through so many long relationships and casual ones hoping to find the right one. He was single and back to square one again. He had regrets. But regret is the outcome of mistakes we make and leave us wise. He decided to choose wisely from here on. No dating a woman with kids. He learnt to be cautious and not let himself too easy; otherwise it would land up like all the rest of the relationships. His life became radically different than what it was a few years ago. Work all week and just hang out with friends and family over the weekend. No bringing girls home. He wasn’t even looking for love. He was free from love but sex was part of the game. He was trying to find himself again. He felt lighter, lived lighter. As much as he loved and adored women, he felt he was done with women. I didn’t hint at signs of homosexuality. It’s been nearly a year and a half and he had no intention of being in a relationship anytime soon. He now knew what he wanted from a woman by this age. He was happy with how his career was shaping and felt his personal life will fall into place as well. And then a surprise named Neysa came in. Good Lord! Was I in trouble?

To be continued...