You want to settle in India or USA?

Is it right to only call the American born Indian kids as ABCD's (American Born Confused Desis) ? How about playing the blame-game with their parents too, as I believe confusion prevails even amongst their parents. So, it basically runs in the genes! Yusss.. blood only. What is this confusion all about?

-- Where to settle?

All of us say this all of this. When we come to pursue our MS to USA, we say:

' Yeah re, I'm getting back to India once I'm done with my Masters. I miss India terribly man.' 

Once you get a job - 

'I will get back to India in a year or two... maximum re. I am here just to repay my loans and stuff. Otherwise, who wants to shit here with all the different rules and visa status insecurities. Arey, India is India re'. 

Bird/Bull hunting phase begins at home. It's time to get hooked on. You get married. Then - 

'Arey  thanks so much for the wishes.Yeah, wedding went on great. What? Settling in US ah? Mad or what? Neither of us have plans to be here. Once we have a kid, we'l go back. That's all'. 

Between this newly-wed phase and 'finally we have a baby' phase, the rest of the universe other than the couple themselves have to bear the brunt of their public romance, hugs, kisses, muaahh, buaaahh,  facebook-ically, couple-cuddly pics near Niagara Falls, Grand Canyon blah blah. Enough yaa.. what you will do family planning also on Facebook ah now? By the time the baby is born, all statuses are at once updated. Abaaaa.. not on Facebook. I know that only you are thinking. So, baby is a US citizen, the couple are green card holders. Thatz it. Hail USA !!! Question answered.

-- Fears after having a baby in US

Having a baby is obviously the 'choo chweet' moment. But, there are too many things that goes on in the minds of parents who are settled in US. Seriously.. our parents were so cool - Simple living, high thinking policy! 

--  My kid is going to be American-ized

Yes, the above statement is true and get used to it. You cannot have best of both worlds. Being American-ized isn't wrong at all. It's just their culture. Bigguuuu deal.

-- My kid is speaking only in English and not in our mother tongue

It's too hilarious when parents in US keep stalking their kids every now and then 'Chitti speak in tamil'. ' Bujji, speak in telugu'. And the reply you get from the kid - 'Alright daddy'. LOL. Do such parents have some kinda short term memory loss like Ghajini for forgetting where they are?You know you are in US no? The most commonly spoken language here is English. The kid is born here, brought up here, going to an American school. What on earth do u expect? Come on re.. too much all this is.

-- You don't understand what your own kid is speaking coz he/she is speaking with an 'accent'

Have u not tried to put on some fake chindhi accent when you speak to an American?Yes, it is chindi.. u know it and even that American knows it. How many times has an American asked you - 'Sorry, I didn't get you, could you please say that again'? What? Getting nostalgic ah? It's ok pah. So, now when your kid is actually speaking the right way, then also you have a problem ah? 

-- You want your kid to be Indian-ized being in US

Poor kid only. You want your kids to sing Bollywood songs without an accent, go to Indian dance classes, be the way how you were with your parents during your childhood in India. How'z that even possible? Are you in India? NO. Then, how? 

-- There is always a trade-off - Be a Roman in Rome

You settle down in US to lead a comfy life and have a great career with some Microsoft, Amazon etc. Good only that is. The trade off is your kid is going to be American and will not live the way you have been in your formative years.Accept it or change it. If you crib once again....... what can I say? Aeeee.. go re go... 

-- If you have a daughter, fears are all the more

Ayooo..what if she starts dating when she is 11 years only? What if she starts wearing all her baby clothes when she is 18? Don't know at what age she will first kiss a guy? Arey.. first of all, will that be a guy or girl? Agreed ki these are the typical fears by any parent who have a daughter raised in US. Just because you train her in music, dance, martial arts and make her wear half sarees bought by her grandmother everytime she comes to baby-sit your daughter, doesn't mean all these questions are going to change or have an answer. Yes, these questions will still remain. Answers - time will have to say! Why should I be the bad girl now? I'm good girl only.

-- I miss India re  phenomena

All of us do. How many really have the guts to go back to India? Tell me now yaa. I want to know the answer.. yes now only. Simply if u keep saying ' I miss eating pani poori, masala dosa, MLA pesarattu', keep saying only then. Nothing else you will do. Or what. You will go to India bazaar, get poori, frozen masala dosas, and eat. That only na? I know. Coz I also do that only. 

When parents settled in US are asked 'Any plans on settling in India'?. Conveniently, quite a lotta them say.. 'Yeah we would love to.. but you see, my son and daughter have so got used to the lifestyle here, it will be tough for them to adapt in India'. All lies you are telling. The actual statement is ' You cant adapt to the lifestyle in India anymore, having stayed in US for sucha long time'. Who told that is wrong? Nothing wrong at all. But, tell the truth no. 

-- Strange encounters

I have seen a couple of parents here who send their kids for tutions in addition to normal school hours. I am talking of kids of the age five or more. Yeah, even in India, kids are sent for tuitions from they are joined in school with high ambitions of parents being 'Mera beta engineer banega in IIT/NIT/BITS/SHITS' OK. But the difference I have seen here is, these parents in US send their kids to tutions in Math and Science which covers syllabus nothing in common with that taught in school. In other words, the tution syllabus basically covers stuff that is taught in India..as the Math and Science syllabus standards here are very low compared to that in India. So, basically the kid is supposed to master stuff taught in the India and US. What? You think your kid is from Mars ah? Or from some other planet that is going to be named after your kid? Enough.. come down to the ground. Did you study both syllabuses when you were of that age? No na? See, again I am telling you. Take your kid to India, or make them study here. 

Simply hear what I say. Either way let peace prevail. 

Cheers,

Janz!